03-04-2024: My Favorite YouTuber Turns Out to be a Terrible Person! Now What?
(Warning: This is blog is very long one that mentions harassment, sexual assault, meltdowns, grooming, suicidal thoughts, depression and strong swearing. Please take care before reading on.)
-Disclaimer-
Nearly one month after I post this blog, the YouTuber I mention here, has came out of the woodwork to talk about their side of the story. Let just say that the situation has completely change thanks to what they said and that some of the things they were accused of, has now been (mostly) proven false. Still, I won't delete this as this explain why I had my first meltdown in months and why I have trust issues in general. Please keep that in mind when your reading this.
Hello friends.
Today’s blog is based on the events that happened early this year. Originally, I was supposed to post this in late January, but due to more information about the event coming out of the blue and that my mental health space wasn’t in a good place, I decided to hold off on it until things have calmed down. Now that things have calmed down, that I haven’t had a meltdown in a month and I’m (mostly) in a better mental state compared to before; I think this is a good time to mention said event. For those who followed me on Tumblr around that January knows what I’m talking about. For those who didn’t, but saw my cryptic Status Café posts around the same time, this blog explains why.
But be warned, this blog will be longer than most of my blogs here so far. It might also be too depressing and triggering for some as this blog talks about a YouTuber who was accused of sexual harassment and my feelings and reaction on the event. Please, take care of yourself before reading this as it might be too much for some!
-Part 1-
It was the week of January 14th and my state was hit with a hard freeze warning! This was annoying as I live in southern Texas and this wasn’t supposed to happen. I had to close the small windows in the greenhouse to keep the plants from dying, like it did last year. The plants still wilted the next day anyways, which anger me as they’re actually growing for once! Especially after what happened last summer as all of them got killed off in the summer heatwave, which lasted for nearly 4 months! At least it was only the tomato plants that died and not the cabbage plants. Later that night, I broke my nail off from trying to cut an onion for dinner. To make it worst, it was a safety knife that I was using when my nail broke! Ugh…
At least the biannual Game Done Quick was streaming at this time on Twitch that will keep my mind off of life (and the cold weather). I usually look forward to the event due to the jokes, the memes and the speed records being broken as they do it for the name of charity. Even if it only on for a week, it was better than nothing! I thought it was…
That motion cracked two days later on a Tuesday afternoon when I woke up late due to having a shitty sleep schedule from me staying up all night, browsing my various social media apps on my iPhone while in bed. One of the first things I did was get on my phone and go to Know Your Meme, a website that cover memes, various pop culture and any current events that are happening right now. The first thing I saw on the site is that my favorite YouTuber, Chuggaaconroy, was accused of sexual harassment on Twitter by a trans woman YouTuber, Lady Emily!
What happened was she accused him of asking her to send photos of her feet, a few months ago, which she said no. But he didn’t listen and kept contracting her anyways, even when she ghosted him. This disguised me as he had no bounties (which he, the fandom and his friends known for years) and didn’t listen to her when she said no!
Fuck.
At first, I didn’t want to believe it as I have been watching his content since 2013 and he’s the reason why I got into and like video games, especially Nintendo games. I got into the Pokémon series because of him; discovered Super Mario RPG and the Paper Mario series because of him. Fell in love with Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask because of him. I even discovered other LPers that he worked with because of him! Now, all of that is gone.
The 10 years of watching and enjoying his content? Gone.
The jokes and the puns he made in his videos that made me laugh? Gone.
The sweet memories that I made from watching some of his videos when he gets to an emotional part of the game? …Gone.
I literally survived university and got my Bachelor’s Degree because of his videos. Same thing with The Runaway Guys videos (a channel that he runs with ProtonJon and Nintendo CarpiSun since 2011) that I discovered during Summer Break 2015 and remembering watching their videos while eating at the dining hall on campus and working on the projects for my architecture classes during the night. Now, I can’t re-watch his and their stuff anymore without being reminded that, he did that. I feel sick now thinking about it.
At the same time, I believed what Lady Emily said because she was a victim of sexual harassment and that’s the right thing to do. Even then, I decided to wait to see if Chuggaaconroy has anything to say about what he did to Lady Emily before jumping to the conclusion. He did later apologize the next day, but she said it’s not enough and there’s a chance he might harassed more women!
That made me angry as this might be true! But if she’s right and they decide to come out against him, not only it might be the end of his channel but also the end of The Runaway Guys too! I’ll be real sad if they do decide to disband because if it wasn’t for that, their next LP was going to be Super Mario Bros. Wonder, which came out a few months ago and the fandom was really looking forward for the trio to play the game.
Around the same time Game Done Quick was streaming, he and The Runaway Guys was supposed to run to the Thrown Controllers event that they’re run at MagFest on that Saturday (which is also streamed live on Twitch). Obviously because of all this, The Runaway Guys announced that Chuggaaconroy won’t show up to the event, which will make things worse if he does show up. I didn’t bother watching it as I fear that both the chat in the MagFest channel and someone in the crowd, might heckle ProtonJon, Nintendo CarpiSun and the others running the event over the situation!
But all that didn’t matter as a few days later on a Thursday morning, I had my first meltdown in 8 months. What happened was I was browsing the #actually autistic tag on Tumblr (as both Chuggaaconroy and Lady Emily were autistic), where a few people were talking and spreading some rumors about the scandal and one of them said for everyone to boycott him and his friends for “what” he did. That post made me angry as they were basically telling everyone to punish his friends for something they have no part of!
To make it worst, I actually believed that post and I literally unsubscribed him and his friends, which made my YouTube feed empty. After doing that, that’s when I had my meltdown. When it happened, I did in my attached bathroom so no one can hear me as it was 5am. I cried and cried in that bathroom. I cried hard as he was the person who’s responsible of making Nintendo, my special interest, end up as both a creep and a harasser. I also cried that was doing so well in not having a meltdown and it took a scandal of a YouTuber for it to come crashing down.
Once I was done having my meltdown, I went to bed in hope to sleep it off. Prior to the meltdown, my mind wasn’t in a good place from the plants wilting due to the hard freeze to losing my nail. Adding that my favorite YouTuber was actually a terrible person, made it worst as I didn’t want to believe that he did all that as I secretly hoped it was just some miscommunication on Lady Emily’s side and that everything is going to be okay at the end!
Even then, I decided to get off from most of the Internet (and LPs in general) for a week thanks to my meltdown and (as I later found out) being guilty of spreading some lies based on one person’s post as it was later confirmed that there was some miscommunication on both of their parts as Lady Emily was okay doing what they were doing in their private DM!
At least he apologized the next day after reading what she posted on that Tuesday. I hate being tricked. It’s one of my weaknesses as I tend to be gullible, especially when it comes to serious shit like sexual assault and harassment and I tend to jump to the conclusion before hearing the full truth.
So, see everything is fine and now I can support Chuggaaconroy again, even if this means I will be judging him harassingly over what he did to her! …Right?
...
...
-Part 2-
WRONG!
Just one day after I returned to Tumblr on January 26th (and deleted the boycott post and blocked the person in question); I found out that Lady Emily was correct! He did harassed MORE women! One of them was Masae Anela!
Now that one made me sad as I thought of them nothing but just friends. Yeah, she gets mad whenever he made bad puns and like to tease her by calling her cute (which has now aged poorly) and such. But I didn’t think he did anything terrible behind the scene. Sounds like he did and because of that, they had a falling out and haven’t spoken to each other since 2022. She even deleted the Mario Party 2 videos that they played on her channel back in 2015, when the scandal first broke out.
I feel so bad for her for what I thought was harmless teasing on their videos, was actually him harassing her and nobody knew about it! I don’t think even The Runaway Guys members knew about this either, which makes it worse!
Then I found out that he harassed YouTuber AntDude’s girlfriend a few years back, which caused him to get banned for appearing in his future videos. On the same day I found out he harassed the two women, Know You Meme releases another article about him and its worse than him harassing Lady Emily: it’s that he groomed a child; a FUCKING CHILD!!! It happened back when he was starting his YouTube career in 2008 and it continued for years (and have screenshots to prove what he did is true)!
WHHHHYYYYYYYY!?!?!
At that point, any respect I have for him is gone. I was willing to forgive him for admitting what he did with Lady Emily is wrong and is going to get help for his actions. But after hearing he harassed more people and that groomed a child (which went on for years), I was done.
After seeing the Know Your Meme post, I went to the TV Tropes forum (huge mistake) as there were people talking about the scandal in his forum page. The posts were ugly as many were upset that the person they grow up watching turns out to be a terrible, sick person. Some said this is the reason they like ProtonJon/Nintendo CarpiSun better than Chuggaaconroy as they find him annoying. Some said there was something strange about him that they can’t put their finger on and that it was the reason why they never liked him in The Runaway Guys. Then there were deleted posts due to going off topic as some were (maybe?) death threats, such as they wished him a painful death for what he has done!
It was those posts when I had my second meltdown in 8 days. I did it in the same bathroom where I have my first meltdown. This time I screamed and cried as I was supporting a FUCKING GROOMER for 10+ years and that nobody suspect a thing or two about it! So now all the jokes about him not knowing about sex works, has aged poorly as he KNEW what he was doing and decided to play as the fool for laughs and views!
Then I remember that one time, he and The Runaway Guys did a Make-A-Wish-Foundation around 2019 where they visit a child who was battling leukemia (who later beat it and came out as a trans woman a few years later) and played Mario Party DS with her! God knows what he would do to her if he was the only one who showed up! Heck, one time during a meet and greet, a fan tells him that she was 12 years-old when she saw the infamous “Daisy Heart-Shaped Box” stream that The Runaway Guys did on Twitch back in 2016, which caused her to lose her innocent. He then told her that he “lost” it too from the stream! Gross.
He was supposed to be better than that. He was one of the well-known YouTubers out there who was there since the beginning days of the site! He was known for his quality research & editing skills, which he improves over time and it shows in his videos. While he wasn’t as big as Markiplier and PewDiePie, but he was big enough for Nintendo to acknowledge him on their Twitter account, a few times. And plus, he was one of the many who was spared from the #MeToo Movement 2.0, which took down some LPers and Twitch streamers back in June 2020. So, he was supposed to be one of the good guys…right?
I guess not when he was later exposed to be a terrible person. Like, no one knew it was coming. Like he was a nice, funny and is (mostly) a harmless person that people can look up to. He’s rarely controversial besides hating Paper Mario: Sticker Star with a burning passion, which can get annoying after a while when you keep hearing him talk about how the game has ruined his life, multiple times! Then in his early LPs, he tends to bash certain kids shows that he grew up watching, saying they suck and that they’re not funny. I actually disagree on his statement as some of the cartoons he trashed, were my childhood favorites, such as Chalk Zone, which I LOVED growing up! Besides that, there were no red flags on him being terrible creep. Nope, nothing at all.
So who would’ve thought it was an Ask Reddit post on Reddit, where a poster asked who’s the most non-controversial YouTubers on YouTube (which was later recorded and put on YouTube via robot speaker), was basically the start of his downfall. It was on that post, many redditors said Chuggaaconroy is one of the biggest non-controversial YouTuber that they can think of. It was the day after the video was released; it was when Lady Emily told everyone on Twitter that, it’s not true and that she has the screenshots to prove why Chuggaaconroy is a terrible person.
It was at that point, Chuggaaconroy has become one of many people in my life to lose my trust as I have trust issues thanks to having anxiety from being autistic. That lack of trust was one of the reasons why left my last job in early 2023 at “a famous pizza chain that I won’t name for reasons”. It was because a person who was going to replace my former boss (who was demoted for doing a poor job running the place), sexually harassed her for MONTHS! She tried to report him, but it got swept it under the rug by the area manager (her boss), who then tells her that he’s one of the better general managers in town and that my former boss should know better before accepting the position, 10 months prior! Hearing that made me lost trust at my new boss (and the area manager), who I thought was mostly harmless, but was a little edgy. Now I’m worried that I might be next, as my biggest fear is getting sexually harassed!
As result, my former boss and a few others quit their jobs at the chain in protest. I later quit too as I got a new job to get away from him…just to find out that my new job was a scam and that I end up losing over $2,000 in buying work equipment that didn’t exist! I blame me being gullible at the time, to allow something like this to happen!
To this very day, I still have no job and have problems looking for one. I won’t go back to my old job as there is a chance my “other” boss is still there, making a move on another woman (and that she can’t go to upper management for help as they will just ignore her). For me, I rather be unemployed and happy than working in a depressing job, where you get treated as shit, get paid poorly (I was paid $8.25 an hour at that place) and might be sexually harassed by someone at your job and nobody will listen to you when you try to report them.
Going back to the trust issue, because Chuggaaconroy is now confirmed to be both a terrible and controversial person, I can’t watch his stuff anymore, as I will remember what he did for the rest of my life as he broke my trust and can’t get it back! Same with the rest of the people (like my “other” boss at my last job) and creators of certain things (the Harry Potter series, H.P. Lovercraft, Rurouni Kenshin), who broke my trust from finding out they’re a terrible person! I think this is why I have barely few friends growing up as due to trust issues as I think they might actually be terrible and that I’m bad reading body language (thanks to being autistic), which would give me the red flags!
At that point, I decided to stay away from ALL LPs and Twitch streams for a while as I don’t feel comfortable watching them right now, fearing that the LPers and streamers themselves that I might watch, is actually be a terrible person! Of course, this isn’t the first time I stopped watching them. I did it back in 2021 when none of the videos that he and The Runaway Guys posted, interested me and my mind was instead stuck on obsessing with my OCs from my Everlasting webcomic and the characters from Danganronpa Another.
Now, my biggest fear is that I might actually grow out watching LPs’ in general thanks to the scandal and that it’s time for me to move on. Funny thing is that prior to all that, I was starting to get burned out from their latest videos for some reason. After the scandal broke out, I feel like this was a sign that, it might be time to for me to leave the LPs community. If this true, at least I’m thankful that his and the others LPs got me through university. I don’t know if I would survive if I didn’t find some sort of distraction from the world being challenging for an autistic person like me.
Of course things would be different I didn’t watch them in the first place. Like if I would go back in time and told my 17 year-old self to not watch Chuggaaconroy because he’s a groomer and a creep, I think I would actually listen and I might not be in this mess today.
Since my the second meltdown, I heard that after the grooming news came out, Chuggaaconroy had to check into rebab due to getting suicidal thoughts from the death threats he was getting from Twitter (which made me thankful I deleted my account back in late 2022). I also heard that both his and The Runaway Guys channel are on infinite hiatus until they can figure out what to do next. At this point, I think they should disband for the sake of his victims and for Chuggaaconroy to just retire, disappear from the Internet and turn his self in to the authorities for the crimes that he committed! It’ll be better for everyone.
Even a month after the scandal broke out, I’m still not feeling okay from all this. Almost every day, I think about the scandal and wondered why I watched Chuggaaconroy in the first place, knowing this would happen. I’m now too scared to look up the TV Tropes forum page due to fearing that I might have another meltdown from whatever there’s an update on his forum. I stopped watching ProtonJon’s streams on Twitch because Chuggaaconroy’s influence is oozed onto his stream, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I did the same thing with the other members of The Runaway Guys by stopped watching their streams too, even though they have a smaller fanbase than his and have no involvement on what he did. I fear watching them now, will cost me think all of the things he did with them in the past, which will rub me the wrong way.
Even if I’m taking a break from watching LPs, can I watch that and Twitch now without fearing that the LPer and streamer themselves is a terrible person, knowing the one I watched for the past 10 years, was actually a terrible person? Can I even continue liking video games and Nintendo because of Chuggaaconroy’s influence on some of the games that he LP on his channel? Heck will I grow out of liking and playing video games because of him? If so, do I need a new hobby to attach on so I can forget the entire thing about him and video games in general?
I don’t know man…I just…don’t.
I knew 2024 was going to be a bad year due to the Election, but I didn’t expect my favorite YouTuber being outed as a creep, a harasser and a groomer to be on my bingo card! It was because of him and the CEO of Tumblr, who was outed as a transphobic jerk a month later, I had to get off of Tumblr twice this year for the sake of my mental health! I’m worried that this will happen again and at the point, I don’t know what to do next.
Prior to the scandal, every time I hear that some big time YouTuber get outed as a terrible person for what they did, I (sort of) mocked those fans for liking that said YouTuber in the first place, knowing that they were exposed as a terrible person! Now, I sympathized with those fans as I was too, mentally scarred from hearing that a beloved YouTuber (that I used to like), was outed as a terrible person.
The fact he hid his dark secret for almost 16 years is both impressive and scary. Impressive as he fooled everyone by having a goofy personality, while people who really know him, knows that he’s the complete opposite. Scary as if you tried to tell everyone the truth about him, you’ll be sent death threats by his hardcore fans for trying to end his long career based on a lie about him. That actually happened to Lady Emily when she told everyone the truth about Chuggaaconroy on Twitter and that some of his fans tried to end her own career by spreading lies about her!
Even when he was finally exposed and is paying for the action of his consequences, I wish he was caught sooner.
Then the pain won’t be as bad compared to now.
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